dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
