A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
