"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
