I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
