ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
