okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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