Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sext me about skeletons
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
