HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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