Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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