Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize