any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.