Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover