Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.