i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
