yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.