Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.