He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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