I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
