that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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