but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
