Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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