sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
