If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think people are normalizing furries
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
