she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize