Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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