just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
