Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize