I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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