so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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