I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
