do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
