you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
