so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
