do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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