He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
