heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize