You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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