first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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