I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
