i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
