Just fell off a train. Bad.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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