What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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