Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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