apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
