I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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