No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
