I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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