Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
