STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize