He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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