What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
