Define "chronic" masturbator.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
