I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
