i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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