Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
