I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
