I wish I could punch you in the face.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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