Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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