Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize