I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
