You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
