That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
