Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
