well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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