i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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