In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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