hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
