worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
