this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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