Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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