You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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