You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
