? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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