Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
