Dude my mom stole all your condoms
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize