One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
