are you still at the devil's house?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
