remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
