Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
