As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i out mim tonsoeep
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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