It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
