I just saw a hot homeless man
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
