David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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