i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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